What are your resolutions for 2016? Weight loss, drinking less and getting fit will no doubt be on the top of many people’s lists and may well be on yours too. But look closely at the word resolution. “Re” meaning, “back to the original place” and “Solution” meaning, “the act of solving a problem”. In setting a resolution we should be looking to solve a problem that will take us back to our original place.
Unfortunately we tend not to look at where we truly started out as a whole being, so have no true understanding of our original place. We also tend not to look at the problem, but instead jump straight to a solution that we envisage will solve everything! As a result we find ourselves failing and flailing through another year.
So what original place are you attempting to get back to by solving your problem of weight, drinking or a need to improve fitness? That beloved one is what you should be asking yourself before you set any intentions for 2016. It is the WHY that counts when it comes to resolutions. So many times we are caught up in the physicality rather than the spirituality and that is why we are stuck on repeat.
Take a moment and visualise this. You are a ball of intense white light floating effortlessly in black space. You are peace, harmony and pure love. Attached to you and floating off into space are cords, some thin, some thick and all colours. There are also chains, some with thick links made from heavy metal, others thin links made from soft pliable metals. All of these cords and chains are emotional attachments to you that constantly drain on your energy. Some are old, decades old. Some are newly formed but none of them serve you. The choice is yours to continue accumulating these attachments or to start recognising them and cutting them free. There lies the freedom you seek.
It is time to look deeper. It is time to resolve to stop... self harming. Yes, self harming! I know self harming is a phrase you may normally associate with people who cut themselves, who are perhaps viewed as unstable but the reality is, we all self harm. Eating unhealthy foods, smoking, drinking, illicit drug use and the abuse of pharmaceuticals are just some evidence of self harm but it is much, much more than that.
Staying put in toxic relationships, working in jobs we loath, maintaining friendships that bring us no love or support, maintaining family connections from a place of obligation or tribal blackmail, always trying to please, compromising anything when your soul is being destroyed in the process, trying endlessly to gain approval from another by devoting your life to “look at me now” actions, over working, over buying and over exercising are all evidence of self harm. The unhealthy eating, alcohol consumption, drug taking and the excessive actions are generally just a means of avoiding this self harm reality. It is the way we avoid looking deeper. However the bottom line is this, avoidance is denial.
We have to really look at these self harm problems because until we do, we will simply be putting a band aid over them until next year when those fusty problems will yet again be top of our resolution list. So, if you are going to make any resolution for 2016, be sure to delve deeply into WHY first of all. Recognise the self harm, call it by name and remind yourself how far removed it takes you from your original place of peace, harmony and love because that is where you should be aiming to get back to. It's not about resolving to be a dress size smaller, not to have a kilo more of muscle, not to set one alcohol free day every week. It's deeper, much deeper. In the words of Gita Bellin, "Success depends on where intention is".
As a first step, why not resolve to simply stop ignoring the very things that are causing you distress, that are causing you to remain at length from being in your original place of peace, harmony and love. Resolve not turn a blind eye to these things only to face them again next year. 2016 could be your year of exponential personal growth if as Eileen Caddy says in The Dawn of Change, you can “Learn your lessons quickly, and move on”. Make 2016 be the year when you become awake, aware and be the change you want to see in your life.